Edmund, This is a Terrible Idea
by LadyAlambiel
Summary: "Edmund, this is a terrible idea."


Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't... I also don't own the Narnian Calendar. It belongs to Elecktrum who was kind enough to let me borrow it for my story. Her own stories are awesome and you should go read them too.

Summary: "Edmund, this is a terrible idea."

A/N: A fluffy oneshot. Hope you like it. This is part of my _A Light in the Darkness_ universe. But, you can read it as a standalone if you so choose. Enjoy!

**Edmund, This is a Terrible Idea**

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Peter watched his little brother dragging a large, dripping sack of…of, well, of something across the polished floor. "Edmund, this is a terrible idea."

Edmund grunted as he pulled the sack to rest next to another large, dripping sack, "If it were a terrible idea, why are you helping?"

Peter looked down at the large, dripping sack sitting by the toes of his boots, "I'm not helping. What are in these sacks anyway?" And, how did Edmund find three burlap sacks that could only be described as large and dripping? Not to mention, _why_ were they dripping?

Edmund smirked at him, "Bring that one over here and then you'll find out."

Peter looked back down at the burlap sack, weighing his options. Shaking his head, he hefted the sack up, being careful not to actually let the dripping sack touch him since he wasn't sure what all was dripping (just water wouldn't be green and brown). By the Lion, it was heavy! No wonder Edmund had been dragging the other two. He grunted, "This is still a terrible idea."

"You don't even know what's inside or what my idea is, so how can you say it's terrible? Don't drop it, Pete!"

Peter tightened his grip on the burlap sack and grumbled, "It weighs a ton. What's in here?" He eased the bag to the floor next to the other two, more than a little leery of dropping it in case there was something inside that would break, smash, or squelch like jelly (the mere whisper of the last jelly incident was still guaranteed to bring glares from Susan and the housekeepers _and_ Oreius _and_ the other swordmasters).

Edmund gave him that little calculating smirk that always preceded some sort of prank. He loosened the ties on the first sack and peeled back the dripping burlap, "This."

"And just what do you plan to do with _those_?" Peter looked at the contents of the sack again then tugged open the sack he'd just carried and, for good measure, the other sack. Yes, all three sacks shared the same contents…at least it explained why the water was green and brown. Edmund didn't answer. "Ed? What are you planning to do with three sacks' worth of eels, brother mine?"

He just smirked wider, "You'll see."

"You're not going to dump these in Susan's bath, are you?"

Edmund snorted, "Of course not. I wouldn't have brought them in here if I were going to do that and I would have done it this morn if that was the plan. I also don't have a death wish, Peter."

Peter frowned as Edmund started picking up two of the larger slimy creatures, "Where did you _get_ three sacks' worth of eels?"

Edmund gave him the you're-a-clueless-nitwit look and slowly enunciated his words, "From the Marsh-Wiggles."

"The Marsh-Wiggles? And, they just gave you all these eels? Edmund!"

Edmund affected a wide-eyed innocent look, "What?"

He crossed his arms, "You have enough eels to make a meal big enough for twenty or even thirty people. And, the Marsh-Wiggles just gave them to you?"

"Yes. Well, after I had to listen to each group talk about how I'll like hate the taste or if I don't hate the taste, I'll probably catch some terrible disease and have my nose fall off…or was it my toes…" Edmund trailed off then shook his head, "But, yes, I got one sack from each group of Marsh-Wiggles."

Peter was having difficulty refraining from smacking himself on the forehead or just tying Edmund to a chair until he answered his questions. "Why?"

"You'll see." One of the eels in Edmund's hands suddenly flailed wildly and slipped free of Edmund's grip to fall, still wriggling and flailing, on Peter's clean boot. Peter sighed while Edmund made a very unconvincing attempt to hide his laugh, "Oops, sorry, Peter."

He ignored his brother and carefully lifted his foot so the slimy creature fell into the nearest open sack. Now, there were only the streaks of green and brown staining his blue boot to serve as evidence of the temporary eel encounter. Peter rolled his eyes, "Edmund, you do know that we have to greet the envoy from Galma in less than two hours, right?" He could just imagine that while his Faun valet would be happily horrified and still have him properly dressed for this official greeting stuff, Susan…Susan would be more likely to sentence him to a slow death of parties and giggling girls.

A heavy, slimy object hit him in the chest. The large eel flopped down to land in the open sack with a wet squelching sound. Peter swiped at the long greenish trail of slime now covering the front of his tunic. He growled, "Edmund!"

Edmund gave him another innocent look, "Peter?"

The slightly smug smirk on his face turned to astonishment as Peter bent down, scooped up two smaller eels, and quickly threw them at Edmund. One sailed past Edmund's shoulder to land on a large unlit candelabra, but the other smacked his little brother in the face.

Edmund swiped the muck off his face with his sleeve. Of course, he wasn't wearing his formal clothes…apparently, he had had better success at avoiding his valet than Peter had. But, once that mischievous glint formed in his dark eyes, Peter ceased to contemplate how Edmund had wriggled free of their Faun valets' constant joint effort to keep their new kings looking reputable. He raced to a settee covered in cushions and snatched a large cushion up. Turning, he raised it just in time to block one eel. He ducked and another eel went sailing by to land on an unlit candelabra. Peter raced back to the open sack of wriggling eels and collected more ammunition.

Cushions and eels were sailing through the air. Peter ducked as two eels went flying by to land on a candelabra that already had a goodly number of eels dangling across its branches. He reached into the practically empty sack, groping blindly as he used his latest cushion as a shield to ward off the eel that almost smacked him in the face. Finally, his fingers touched the unmistakable damp and slimy skin of an eel and he grabbed it. Tossing it overhand, Peter watched with glee as Edmund, who had no cushions left, vainly attempted to catch the eel before it hit him. The eel's tail smacked him in the face. Edmund immediately retaliated by throwing the same eel back at Peter. Peter ducked and-

"Peter William and Edmund Alexander Pevensie!"

Peter abruptly straightened and Edmund paled underneath the streaks of water, mud, and other green stuff (he was pretty sure it was algae…or seaweed…or something else). They exchanged guilty looks then shuffled to face Susan. Peter felt his cheeks start to heat up as he realized practically all of Susan's ladies-in-waiting were also there and her personal guard as well. He looked down to see himself still holding the slimy cushion and immediately dropped it. Edmund and he exchanged looks again, but just as he was about to speak, Susan continued in a much calmer (not to mention much scarier) tone. "How did you manage this? Look around you and then please just explain how you managed to drape eels, dozens of eels on the candelabras?"

Peter glanced around, his embarrassment growing in leaps and bounds as he realized his and Edmund's impromptu battle had upset a number of vases spilling flowers across tables and also several potted plants were on their sides, spilling dirt in a large swath. "Su, we, uh, well, we… Things sort of got of hand."

His sister pursed her lips and tapped a foot as she set her hands on her hips. "I can see that much, Peter. Look at your clothes, your formal clothes, no less!" She raised her hand when both Peter and Edmund stepped forward and they stopped. Peter braced himself for a well-deserved scolding about how they'd ruined all her hard work (which they, in fact, had), but Susan just pointed toward the door. "Go see Silvo and Martil. Lucy and I will make your excuses to the Galmians that you're running late, but do hurry. And, take those boots off before you leave this room. We don't need to give the housekeepers more work. Go on, quickly. And try not to be more than twenty minutes late!"

Peter and Edmund obediently shucked their filthy boots then tucked them under their arms as they raced back up to the royal wing. Edmund glanced at him warily, "Peter, what do you think Susan's planning to do to us?"

The most likely result to follow their sister's almost benign reaction immediately came to the fore and Peter glumly replied, "If there are any girls among the Galmian delegation, we'll be their escorts every day and night until they leave."

Edmund groaned and Peter sympathized with him. It was bad enough for him at thirteen but Edmund was ten. Their misery was cut short by their valets seeing their filthy state and descending on them with cheerful horror as they immediately worked to repair the disarray caused by the eel fight.

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Susan crossed her arms as she surveyed the disorganized chaos plaguing the room she had left perfect and ready for the visit from the Galmian diplomats. But, apparently she had underestimated the chaos that would occur when she left her brothers to their own devices and neither one of them was willing to explain just how three sacks' worth of eels ended up draped all over the candelabras...

With a sigh, she turned back to her ladies-in-waiting, "Well, we shan't be able to use this room to entertain our guests after all. Now, Faline, would you go see if Tillie and the other housekeepers can clean this up? Be sure to tell them that they'll probably benefit from asking some of the Marsh-Wiggles to help."

The Doe nodded, her liquid brown eyes rather wide as she surveyed the mess, before she daintily retreated to the hall and vanished from Susan's sight. Susan looked over the room again, hiding a grimace as one of the eels dangling from the nearest candelabra slipped free and flopped to the floor. "Lisbet, Amaryllis, might you find out if Mrs. Greenbow would be willing to serve the tea in the eastern garden? I think that will give everyone else enough time to see things are set to right, including my brothers' appearances." Susan's lips curved in an amused smile as her ladies giggled and nodded knowingly (for her brothers' penchant for trouble was only too clear) before they all hurried to see about their new duties before the Galmians arrived. She probably had deviled Peter and Edmund terribly by not shouting at them after she got their attention but they deserved all the devilment they got, even it was unintentional on her part. Silly boys, why couldn't they just stay out of trouble for one full day?

She looked around the room once more then sighed, "Boys."

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**A/N: Please Read and Review! Well, this oneshot has been waiting in limbo since I first wrote ****_One Hundred Moments_**** and now it's finally done...after I switched to Peter as narrator instead of Edmund. Leave a review and let me know what y'all thought about this one. **


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